Style, discernment and intelligence its natural predators, the Some-Like-it-Hot-for-idiots comedy Connie and Carla has been conceived and produced in a quality vacuum. Connie (Nia Vardalos) and Carla (Toni Collette), mediocre Chicago performers, witness a mob killing and flee to Los Angeles, where they have no trouble securing a residence and work. Lucky for them, there's a shiny, happy drag club -- the kind populated exclusively by sweet and tolerant queens -- just below their apartment. And so the ladies decide to tart themselves up as male female impersonators.

Connie and Carla oscillates between its narrative, rife with time-honoured gender misunderstandings, and isolated nightclub sequences which showcase the heroines' theoretically endearing showbiz chops. (It's a close call as to which is more painful.) A subplot about a mobster whose cross-country pursuit of the girls yields an appreciation for community dinner theatre flirts with inspiration, but everything else, from the contrived jealousy between our heroines to the uplifting, be-who-you-are finale, is recycled and dire. As for the drag club performances, well -- if your idea of a good time is hearing the score to Mame belted off key by non-pros, then knock yourself out.

Michael Lembeck's direction is every bit as obvious and stilted as you'd expect from a sitcom veteran (of Veronica's Closet, no less). But the main offenders are Vardalos' script and performance. The actress who managed a real wiseass appeal in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the script for which now seems like a veritable Chinatown in its comparative wit and coherence, gives herself over to forcible and shameless mugging, dragging the always likeable Collette down with her.

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