The man in the irony mask: Cross drinks for a reason

As per instructions from his people, I wasn’t allowed to ask David Cross about anything — namely, the upcoming Arrested Development movie wherein Cross will revisit his “never-nude” character Tobias Funke; his 19-years-younger girlfriend, the actress and poet Amber Tamblyn; even the awkwardly brutal mid-’90s classic, Mr. Show with Bob and David — nothing other than Cross’ current stand-up tour, or his newish book, I Drink for a Reason.

David Cross’ celebrity, which is somewhat asymmetrical, gives him the A-list right to make such a request. He’s a vet of TV and film and a giant of comedy, but the other side of Cross’ fame is on-purpose non-fame, or just niche fame: years after he was in Superchunk music vids, he’s lurking around LES bars and by DJ booths in the rarefied cross-section of NYC that involves Vice refugees, scene bloggers, irony-dedicated stylists, artists and other comedians, none of whom can claim Cross’ mainstream version of success. This, the girlfriend and the assorted David Cross marginalia (like, wearing a gimp hood instead of a sleep mask on a flight; filming himself and Gavin McInnes goofing off in Shanghai for a short DVD thing) call up a comedian at odds with his Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, and with the two or three hours of press that Cross has been doing promoting the tour and I Drink for a Reason.

Similarly, Cross’ stand-up runs between sweet, laugh-along absurdity and blunt-force trauma. His content is always elegantly, intelligently articulated, but Cross’ jokes on race and religion can discomfit even those who are mostly desensitized to nasty comedy about abortion, rape and Michael Jackson. Cross says that any negative reaction from the audience on this tour has been mostly about two things: “One is the [American socialized] healthcare debate, and one is the stuff I have about Orthodox Jews.”

Always, Cross broils with what feels less like real misanthropy and more like furious disappointment with stupidity and stupid people. Asked about the healthcare debate, currently raging unabated in the US, Cross gets in it. “For whatever reason, a myriad [of] reasons, the mainstream media here defers with an inordinate amount of respect to some of these people. They’re wilfully, calculatedly misinformed. America has a long, long history of citizens voting against their own best interests. Every election you see it.”

Still, Cross says there’s very little political stuff in his act. He does have some ideas for Canada-specific material. “[Montreal] Alouettes. And the stampede and maple syrup. I have a lot of stuff about maple syrup. And Roots, the company Roots.” Really, though: “It’s all over the place. I still do stuff about religion.”

Cross has several good comedy albums (most notably: Shut Up, You Fucking Baby!, on killer record label Sub Pop) to his credit, but this is his first book. He fake shills it to me: “First of all, all the pages are edible. And they’re very nutritious, so there’s a dual purpose to the book. It also is its own bookmark for a really large book…. It’s also made of government-grade C-4 plastique so if you want to explode anything you can use pages 17 through 33. That’s what those are made of. So, don’t eat those; I should have said that before. And what else? It’s completely biodegradable; it will disintegrate on its own after a year.”

So, Cross is still willing to play, but only when he’s the one in charge.