John Hodgman’s planned Toronto appearance this month was canceled after he was informed that not a single Apple product had ever been sold in Canada, which has a small economy centered mostly around the harvesting and canning of goose grease.
By his own description, John Hodgman is a literary agent and humourist turned “famous, minor television personality” and best known as The Daily Show’s resident expert. Hodgman may be the funniest writer since Robert Benchley to make the jump from the page to being a faux-expert talking head, yet, More Information Than You Require, Hodgman’s latest almanac of “complete world knowledge,” suspiciously contains not a single mention of Benchley, who disappeared into the New Jersey barrens the year of Hodgman’s birth, never to be heard from again. Despite that omission there are at least four interesting facts in the book, many of them also entertainingly incorrect. Without reading More Information Than You Require, and with no help from experts, see if it’s possible to guess the answers to the questions below:
1. More Information Than You Require is part of a planned trilogy. Which one of the following trilogies will Hodgman’s complete project most resemble?
A) Yessongs by Yes.
B) U.S.A. by John Dos Passos.
C) Trilogy of Terror, starring Karen Black and a possessed Zuni doll.
2. Which of the following contains the most incorrect facts regarding Mole Men?
A) Wikipedia.
B) My Life by Bill Clinton.
C) More Information Than You Require by John Hodgman.
3. Goose grease figures prominently in Hodgman’s chapter on folk remedies, especially in his cure for cancer. (“A chemo-poultice of goose grease and anti-cancer medications. Rub it all over the affected area nine times a day. Chew on a pinecone. Think positive”). Which of the following is also a folk use for goose grease?
A) Cleaning pet stains.
B) An alternative fuel source.
C) A gift that can improve relations between New England and New France.
4. Which of the following products is actually advertised in the book?
A) “Hodgman’s Helicopter Hunting Tours,” which are currently being protested by helicopter rights activists.
B) “The Hodgman Literary Tone Detector,” which detects authorial intent.
C) “Hodgman’s Olde Tyme Byrth Control Tincture,” now in peppermint flavor.
Answers
1. The answer is C. In fact, More Information Than You Require is possessed. If the book attacks you, do not throw the book in the oven. The smoke will in turn “possess” you.
2. By volume alone (nearly 55 pages on Mole Men) the answer is C, though Hodgman does reveal that Mole Men and Bill Clinton share the “humanizing detail” of enjoying blowjobs.
3. Don’t be silly, there’s no such thing as “new” England and no one would ever go to war over goose grease. The answer is A.
4. The answer is B. And all books should come with one.