Toronto Notes

Election poopslinging

Now that the poop has been cleared from Stephane Dion’s shoulder, we can probe a little deeper into the online world of the 2008 federal election.

With the election date already in their back pocket, the Conservatives began their campaign by re-launching their party-endorsed anti-Dion website notaleader.ca. New features like the now-infamous digital puffin defecating on the opposition leader indicate a renewed vigour for Dion-bashing. And as much as Stephen Harper wishes to assert that the “tasteless and inappropriate” image slipped onto the site’s main page under the radar, a significant portion of the Conservative’s own main page is occupied by a link to “Not a Leader.” I guess they everyone in the Conservative camp detests their opposition so much that no one even bothered to click his confused-looking image.

Admittedly, the website is kind of funny in a well-orchestrated wedgie sort of way. The “Bio” section details Dion’s progression from “Out of Touch Professor” to “Weak Leader” and there’s a bunch of fun games like Policy Slot Machine and Street Debater — the latter of which prompts you to pinpoint Dion’s most flustered and least-eloquent comebacks during the Liberal leadership convention debate. And of course, there are ample references and an entire sub-site dedicated to what the Conservatives have dubbed the “Dion Tax Trick” — a.k.a. the big bad Green Shift.

The Liberals, as we’ve seen from their apology demands, are not standing idly by for this sort of bullying. And they have even constructed a counter-attack website, dubbed Scandalpedia.ca. This purports to be the “Free encyclopaedia of Conservative scandals,” and offers up its information as factual accounts of such events as the Bernier affair, “Flaherty’s Gravy Train” and quote-filled bios of the PC’s starting line-up. It’s funny as well, but more of a painful-acceptance-of-reality kind of funny.

The Liberal humour, much like their overall approach to policy is somewhat understated and a bit too scholarly. I mean, Scandalpedia delivers the laughs if you take the time to read it, or at least use it as a rough guide to reading between the Conservative lies (whoops, lines). There aren’t many obvious jokes, and it almost reminds me of Bill Hicks’ style of deadpan truisms concerning the first Iraq war (“A war is when two armies are fighting”) or smoking (“Non-smokers die every day”). Almost. Notaleader.ca could be more closely compared to the comic stylings of Andrew Dice Clay: blunt force punch lines, and a downright loathing of good taste.

More importantly, the websites serve as metaphors for the parties themselves (or at least the leaders). By focusing almost exclusively on Dion, the Conservatives are basically inferring that there are no real issues worth addressing in this election. But maybe that’s the point; to seal up a tidy political vacuum where questions are discouraged and independent thought is contrary to party policy. On the other hand, the Liberals seem confident that the government’s reputation speaks for itself. Consequently, their role as the official opposition should mean that they are by default the official alternative. This method of campaigning rarely works, as history has proven again and again.

To give the parties credit, at least they are making forays into 20th century technology and embracing the internet as a useful marketing tool. By going so far as to flirt with Web 2.0 possibilities, one of notaleader.ca’s main attractions, aside from the obvious ridicule, is the fact that it’s interactive. But sending emails via the Dion Excuse Generator or creating your very own smear commercial hardly serves to arouse enlightened interest in the election. And if this is the kind of ugliness we’re seeing before the campaign is even a week old, maybe we should just admit that the election might be more effectively played out on an episode of Kenny vs Spenny.

Toronto Notes

Toronto news and views, updated every day. torontonotes@eyeweekly.com.

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