Today on the Scroll: Cupidwatch 2008 – taking the bait on shameless efforts to latch on to media coverage of Valentine’s Day.

For the past few years, citizen journalists — as if there ever really was such a thing as “citizen journalists” to begin with — generally have access to the same flow of press releases as mainstream media outlets. And looking up “Valentine’s Day” on Google News around this time of year is sure to offer a peek behind the curtain of just how the fluffiest side of news-you-can-use reporting is produced.

Then, some snarky writer will come along to explain just how transparently this sausage gets made, although such cynicism serves the PR people all the same. But, since this column job involves actually talking to people for background, what better time to spin the wheel and see who calls back for Cupidwatch 2008.

Habitat For Humanity will be holding an annual singles’ build on Saturday (Feb. 9), hosted by Monika Schnarre, their new Women Build ambassador. The site at 4200 Kingston Rd. in Scarbrough is located near where the Supermodel of the World circa 1986 grew up prior to starting her modelling career. She’s also emceeing a Valentine’s Philanthroparty at Ultra Supper Club (314 Queen W.) on Feb. 13 with all proceeds from the $85 ticket going to help build Toronto’s first Energy Star habitat homes.

Neil Hetherington, local CEO of Habitat for Humanity, has first-hand evidence that these group-building events create matches. “Women looking for their Mr. Right may be drawn to the fact that he knows how to install a toilet,” he says. “There’s nothing raunchy about this, just people dressed in plaid shirts and hard hats.”  

Calling from her car just after getting a ticket for making a wrong turn on Wellington Street, Schnarre explains how home renovation has been a passion for her, since she got into the habit of flipping homes between going on auditions. The experience of building homes for other people gives her a more current talking point than how she won a modeling contest 22 years ago — granted, she was all of 14 at the time — or once played a transvestite on Beverly Hills, 90210.

“I was basically the winner of America’s Next Top Model for my generation,” she says. “And I’m shocked that people still remember me for that. But it left an indelible impression.” She’s moved back to Toronto armed with a fresh broadcast journalism degree from UCLA, eager to find the right role as a show host. Meanwhile, at least she has something to distract herself on Valentine’s Day.

“I am looking, though,” she reports. “The type of guy I desire would be 6'4" and around 220 pounds, But, then, I am also getting a bit less picky as I get older.”

The Harlequin Romance Report is a fixture Valentine’s reportage, produced by the wholly owned subsidiary of Torstar Corporation, in the business of bodice-ripping novels along with specialty romances from the paranormal to the medical to stories starring NASCAR drivers. The 19th annual report packs enough stats into its 40-page PDF for every overworked journalist to find an angle, e.g. yesterday’s Globe and Mail: “In love, honesty’s not always the best policy.”

Marleah Stout, an editor at Harlequin, calls from New York City, where she’s just completed a morning of 24 interviews via satellite with happy-chat housewife shows. The subject of the report, however, is "confessions" (most of which were volunteered anonymously online), perhaps connoting something a little bit too dark?

“We had a woman write in to tell us how she’s been fooling around on her husband for 20 years and wonders if she just should have been honest with her feelings all along,” says Stout. “We’re not therapists and we’re not doctors. We just stood back and we didn’t judge, and let people tell us about their problems. But the same women were also telling us that honesty is the most important part of a relationship. Well, if it is, then why do they do things that aren’t very honest?”

The hooks used by Harlequin for their Romance Report media releases differ on either side of the border. Stout admits their respective agencies try and come up with the most appropriate angle for their market, although she won’t divulge details.

“HR Reps Worst Fears Confirmed: Over Half of Americans Are Diving Head First into Interoffice Relationships” is the headline on the main stateside summary; “Better Hide Your Baggage: New Yorkers Have No Shame When It Comes to Snooping through Their Partners’ Belongings or Online Profiles” is the Manhattan-minded version; and the Canadian media is placated with “Actually, You Do Look Fat in Those Jeans…”

No matter what the slant, though, Harlequin survey participants allegedly picked Perez Hilton as the celebrity tell-all that they’d most like to read. Stout helpfully clarifies that the demand is for stories about human casualty Mario Lavandeira’s dealings with other celebrities, rather than a book about himself. The publication of such a thing by Harlequin would surely help to sink the price of Torstar stock.

Cupidwatchers should also note that local dating service AshleyMadison.com has inked Sarah Symonds, author of Having an Affair: A Handbook for the Other Woman, as their new spokesperson: “My Valentine’s gift to Canada is to help break the shell of hypocrisy that surrounds the whole topic of adultery,” says Symonds, whose biggest catch was jailbird author/politician Lord Jeffrey Archer.

The shell will surely be broken at the Swinger Lifestyle Convention and Erotic Expo in Niagara Falls, Ontario next weekend (Feb. 15-17), whose press release serves to remind couples that the seven-year itch has to be scratched somehow.

And, if all else fails, nominate yourself as the Greatest Romantic in a user-generated content contest from Princess Cruises, with the winner determined by Gavin MacLeod a.k.a. Captain Stubing from The Love Boat.

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