Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
Your ability to intimidate through downcast eyes and a knack for fashion are going to reap unexpected financial dividends throughout the winter, but this week you may encounter a challenge when you’re asked to book four nights of non-secular vegan holiday work parties.
Famous Canadians born this week:
Wilfrid Laurier (former prime minister, Nov. 20)
Bill Bissett (poet, Nov. 23)
Spider Robinson (author, Nov. 24)
Holly Cole (musician, Nov. 25)
Robert Goulet (crooner, Nov. 26, pictured)
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
As twitchy as Sagittarius gets, you also have a tendency to stagnate on the same old ideas that have led you nowhere for your accumulated years. Actually, they haven’t led you nowhere: at this point you have a really impressive collection of unsellable chipped and sleeve-damaged 78rpm records.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Capricorn knows how to let out just enough line to sink someone else’s ship, and this week is no exception when the shipment of chocolates you order is distributed swiftly and romantically to every single girl whose phone number you intend to delete during the Christmas season.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
Unknot those ties of anxiousness and self-doubt this week, Aquarius, as your mastery level is far higher than you give yourself credit for — mastery of careful acquisition and administration of sample-quantity prescription pharmaceuticals, that is.
Pisces (Feb 19-March 20)
Pisces continues to trend towards uncharacteristic self-confidence and motivation as November plunders on. Unfortunately this heady inertia will manifest itself in a postal worker–like blow-up Friday while you’re picking up your dry cleaning.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Aries will drink something funny this week, causing a flush of loving, charitable behaviour towards at least three or four people who are completely not expecting it.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Taurus has little aplomb with the personal relations this month, er, year, but the good news is you’ll be able to take comfort in your equity-rich investments, even as the Canadian dollar plummets around you.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Few signs take a deeper satisfaction in being right than smug Gemini, whose zest for obsessing over correctness of detail while biting his tongue at others’ missteps are occasionally rewarded by public apologies and a round of drinks. Unfortunately, this week you’ll just have to enjoy the taste of biting your own tongue.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Cancer is suffering a lull, which is, all told, better than suffering the debilitating and socially
terrorizing polarization of her usual existence.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
Big drama from above paves fashionable opportunity for Leo this week, who never really expected to find himself costuming the entire cast of a CFL cheerleading troupe, but, hey, that’s why you majored in General Studies.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22)
Now that the tumblers have begun to shift on your career, you find yourself feeling freer in other venues as well, such as karaoke and the abuse of handicapped parking.
Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22)
Libra may get a bit choked up this week as the final wilted leaves of fall remind her of all that has died and passed her by. This is the necessary step in a process of both healing and finally getting miserable enough to dump her developmentally arrested stoner boyfriend with the bad pants.