WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
Starring Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher. Written by Dana Fox. Directed by Tom Vaughan. (PG) 98 min. Opens May 9.
They say what happens in Vegas can be obliterated by a few Bloody Marys and an Advil. The time-tested tradition of blackjack, buffets and the Bellagio acts as the backdrop for this forgettable romantic comedy starring A-listers Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher.
Joy McNally (Diaz) travels to Sin City after being jilted by her preppy fiancé (SNL’s Jason Sudeikis). Over slot machines and midnight martinis she meets Jack Fuller (Kutcher), searching for an ego boost after being fired from his father’s furniture business. Our intoxicated lovebirds pull a Britney in the heat of the moment but, after Jack hits a $3 million jackpot at the slot machines with Joy’s quarter, the newlyweds want to split the win. The catch? Six months of living happily ever after in a Brooklyn apartment until a judge (Dennis Miller in a wasted cameo) deems them definitively divorced.
Writer Dana Fox (The Wedding Date) devotes the centre of the film to several contrived scenarios of premeditated abuse — ranging from husband-beating to a hopeful six-way — with character development relying on the toilet seat being up and the intimacy removed. Diaz, looking as lithe and oiled as a prize-winning racehorse, rests on cutesy grimaces to Kutcher’s spastic charms. While the director aims for Hepburn/Tracey screwball, both characters are as insipid as Jerry Lewis. They simply have no redeeming qualities. What saves What Happens is the entertaining support offered by The Daily Show’s Rob Corddry as a balding, lackadaisical lawyer and Lake Bell (Over Her Dead Body) as an antagonistic glamazon. It may not be much, but when you’re on your last hand, it’s better to hedge your bets.