If you or your child enjoyed the Star Wars prequels, The Lord of the Rings, World of Warcraft, or basically any CGI film ever conceived, go ahead and re-watch any of those titles, and stay far, far away from this one.

Set in the (un)whimsical land of Jhamora, Delgo tells the stale tale of two conflicting races — the Nohrin and the Lockni — both of whom sport Michael Jackson noses, inverted ears, crude character designs and eerily resemble the potential lovechild of Shrek and a Ninja Turtle. The Lockni can occasionally/inexplicably/pointlessly move magic rocks with mind control (à la the force) and the Nohrin have butterfly wings and arbitrarily ride dragons.

Arbitrary is definitely the best word to describe this jumbled hodgepodge of sci-fi and fantasy-film clichés. There are so many useless names and mythologies that 10 minutes into the film your brain basically shuts down and refuses to give a damn about who's Bogardus and who's Raius.

Envisioned by first-time director Mark Adler’s Fathom Studios in 1999 (animation began in 2001), Delgo has since been rewritten by numerous freelance studio readers, which explains the way-too-many-cooks-in-the-kitchen incoherence of the plot. Among the surplus of talented (Malcolm McDowell, Val Kilmer, Burt Reynolds) and talentless (Freddy Prince Jr., Jennifer Love Hewitt, Chris Kattan) actors lending their voices, what’s most perplexing is the late Anne Bancroft’s presence as the main villain.        

Alas, the CGI — which should have been the film’s one saving grace — is entirely passé (like, pre-2001 passé), appearing more like underwhelming cut scenes from a dated videogame. But who would even want to “play” this movie? And what age demographic is this content even marketed towards? It’s a tad dark (there are several casualties) and needlessly convoluted for very small children, and it’s clearly too moronic and tedious for anyone else with a pulse (will all due apologies to anyone without a pulse).