Before checking out the Jonas Brothers’ 3D concert movie, I prepped myself for the teenstravaganza by watching High School Musical 3: Senior Year, wearing Uggs in public, and talking loudly about boys. These advance efforts might have attuned me to the Jo-Bro target market, but I remain wholly confused about the movie, a “concert experience” that supposedly features “documentary footage.”

There was definitely a concert — and a long one at that — with the Jonas eyebrows and PG-pelvises in full, 3D effect, and guest bits with Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift. Though the movie opens with funny behind-the-scenes stuff (driver/bodyguard Big Rob waking the Bros up at 4:30am with a reminder to “live the dream”), true Jo-Bro fans are not interested in what their actual backstage lives are like. Why would they, when they could instead be treated to intermittent, faked footage of the brothers being chased around “New York” (spotted: Toronto), and reach into the 3D atmosphere for Joe Jonas’ (or maybe Kevin’s? Or Nick’s? I don’t fucking know) neon yellow shirt, which he peels off between songs, slow-like, before stripping off his belt and then “discovering” the camera — a squirmy bit of Disneyized cinéma vérité that brilliantly outlines the safe sexuality of the Jonas experience. Otherwise… maybe if your kids were good this week…