Starring Elias Koteas, Rhona Mitra. Written by James DeMonaco, Todd Harthan, James Roday. Directed by James Isaac. (14A) 92 min. Opens Aug 10.
Skinwalkers has the most fraudulent title since The Neverending
Story, cuz it's not about skin-walkers. According to Navajo legend
(and, um, Wikipedia), a skin-walker is a person with the ability to
voluntarily transform into any animal he or she desires. The characters
in James Isaac's Ontario-shot film merely get kinda wolfish whenever
there's a full moon – standard-issue lycanthropy.
What differentiates Skinwalkers from other bad werewolf movies
is just how colossally bad it is: it makes Blood and Chocolate look
like Ashes and Diamonds. We know we're in for it from the first scene,
where leather-jacketed miscreants (led by Wendy Crewson!) chase a
hapless dude through the woods, string him up for questioning, resolve
to kill him and then we abruptly cut away – is there anything lamer
than a PG horror flick? How about a 14A horror flick with a tired plot
(rival skin-walking factions battle over the fate of a gifted boy with
the power to end their bloodline), a couple of borderline ridiculous
Mexican standoff sequences (featuring two gangs that can't shoot
straight) and dialogue so portentously inane that it could only be the
work of three screenwriters?
James Isaac, who made the very funny (and genre-savvy) Jason
X, directs with a lazy eye and half a heart (if that), while the
Can-con cast (Kim Coates, Tom Jackson, Elias Koteas) just do their best
to mask their communal embarrassment.