Novelist Nicholas sparks earns another cheque with Dear John, a weepie that packs the many sources of heartbreak found in his previous work (The Notebook, A Walk To Remember) into 106 minutes: cancer, war, 9/11, autism and long-distance romance all befall his characters here. Director Lasse Hallström (Chocolat), screenwriter Jamie Linden (We Are Marshall) and screen couple Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum pluck a symphony of heartstrings.

Home in Charleston for spring break, pure Savannah (Amanda Seyfried) falls for bad boy John (Channing Tatum) in two blissful weeks. As well, she diagnoses his strange father (Richard Jenkins) with Aspergers Syndrome. John must complete his stint in the army, but he promises to write. Yet 9/11 soon occurs and John’s tour abroad is extended. Will true love conquer all, or will duty?

Tatum and Seyfried have amazing chemistry, playing up the awkwardness and tenderness of first love. (It doesn’t hurt that they’re filmed in a sumptuous style that bathes their blond hair in luminosity.) Time marches on as the couple changes to suit circumstance, taking on the baggage of relatives, honour and dashed hopes. Though relatable, Sparks’ melodrama feels overblown. Hallström pulls out all the stops, finding little nuance and humour to match the weighty turmoil. Tatum and Seyfried act their hearts out, but they’re in danger of choking on the treacle. Dear John is better saved for girl’s-night catharsis rather than a Valentine’s date.