Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Unexpected kindness finds its way to Gemini this week. Whether it arrives in the form of letters, phone calls or an extra container of dipping sauce, you’ll want to store up those good feelings for the coming seasons, when everyone you know will leave you feeling emotionally bereft.
FAMOUS CANADIANS BORN THIS WEEK:
Anne Murray (musician, June 20, pictured)
Joe Flaherty (comedian, June 21)
Doug Gilmour (hockey player, June 25)
Barbara Gowdy (author, June 25)
Yann Martel (author, June 25)
Denys Arcand (director, June 25)
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
All of Cancer’s ducks are in a tidy little row by now, leading up not only to his birthday month but to a summer full of tiny little disappointments only to be assuaged by the cold comforts of having your filing done for the last several months.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
Though you’re divine at persuading people into even the most outlandish of schemes, Leo, you’re often the last on board with your own leaps of faith. As the month draws to a close, though, you’ll have little choice but to jump off the diving board into a new future — especially if you get fired.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
Virgo is feeling torn in all directions, needed and squabbled over in ways that are entirely draining and somewhat inhumane. It would probably have been a good idea not to give birth to all those babies, I guess.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
Libra is able to put a positive, poetic spin on even her worst fears this week, as the walls close in around her choices in a way she actually finds a relief. Luckily this should narrow her playing field down to having to pick from careers in two of the city’s top gentlemen’s clubs, rather than all five or six of them.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
Enigmatic Scorpio sometimes feels misunderstood — to be fair, this is because no one truly understands you. And who would want to? You’re so selfish, dedicating all that time to being mysterious and misunderstood. At least you could volunteer at a soup kitchen or something in your off-hours.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
Your wandering shoes are on, Sagittarius, but by allowing yourself to drift from the home front again, you’ll jeopardize your chances to get laid by one of the most sensual and not-crazy people you’ve met in some time. Then again, you prefer to hopelessly pursue ice princesses, so maybe it’s all for the best.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
The last few years you’ve spent cultivating paranoia finally pay off this week when you totally, officially decide people are against you. Luckily, the best solution to this — shutting people out completely until they come begging to hear what it is you really feel about them and how they can fix it — is something you’ve already been practicing as well.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 19)
Loose ends are resolving rapidly, like rope into accomplished sailor’s knots, as Mercury goes direct and allows Aquarius a little time to catch up on the important things in life, like flirting over email, restocking the liquor cabinet and doing his back taxes.
Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Of course, now that Pisces has what she thinks she wants, she becomes a total flake. Not an active, “Fuck you, I’m doing something else” flake, but a totally passive, “I’m not sure how to proceed so I’ll just never listen to my voicemail ever” flake. This makes the people who care about you want to kill you, but you know, whatever.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
A deep-seated insecurity about being loved even by your very own family manifests itself this week in chain smoking and mindless interior decorating. Finally, all those metrosexual magazine subscriptions come in handy!
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
There’s a clamour of disruption in your social sphere right now, and along with it are a bunch of crybabies eager to rope you into their drama. Utilize that obstinate nature of yours and act like they’re all so wrong you want nothing to do with any of them until they sort the problems out themselves. Of course, once they make up they’ll just exclude you from their invitations.