My wife and I are curious about double penetration (or DP — vagina and anus). We have a good friend in mind to help us out, so to speak. I am wondering if you can offer me any educated resources, internet or printed media (or otherwise). Most of the stuff I see online is just pornography. GLEN, MANCHESTER, NH
I’ll never forget my initial confusion over the term DP. For years my mother has used the abbreviation to describe how her family was pejoratively referred to when they came over on the boat from Holland — DPs, displaced persons. Years later, I saw the term on the back of porn boxes and thought it an insensitive way to refer to all the Russian women suddenly making their way into Western hardcore. I was wrong but, actually, those ladies from behind the Iron Curtain were some of the first I saw performing this act. And therein lies the key word: performing.
It is absolutely essential that you get some non-pornographic guidance and you can trust Nina Hartley to direct you through this sensitive (and well worth the trouble) act. The Guide to Double Penetration is the 23rd title in Nina’s educational series and, despite the occasionally awkward editing, it is one of the best in the series. Nina calls DPs the “trifecta of three-way sex” and says, “this is a situation where ‘spontaneity’ is not what you want.” Nina talks about negotiating a DP in great detail and asks the all-important question, “Who’s going to be the butt guy?” She speaks avidly and positively about women who are super horny for men and how stimulating it is to have “all that masculine attention on your flesh.”
It is truly an excellent video and well worth purchasing (you can get it online for around $30 or, for local readers, it can be rented or purchased at Come As You Are) because not only does it feature solid advice, but two superbly shot DP scenes, including one of Nina doing her first on-camera DP! For long-time Nina fans, this is a big treat. I have been watching her films for years and this is one of the first times I’ve ever seen her go nearly feral. It’s unbelievably sexy and so inspiring to know that sexual self-discovery — even for the professional — persists into your late-forties and beyond. My advice after watching it? Definitely get yourself a large mirror because you won’t want to miss one single angle of your hot scene.
I would supplement this video with Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex. Unless your gal grew up Catholic, she’s probably better versed in vaginal intercourse than anal, and you may need some anatomy lessons to help skilfully navigate the asshole. As Nina says herself, a DP takes a relaxed anal player and Tristan’s video offers a thorough anal anatomy lesson.
No pill, no problem
I wanted to know how safe birth control pills are in terms of any possible long-term damage on a female’s reproductive system. My girlfriend is afraid of taking them. We hate condoms, so we’ve had to resort to the infamous “pull and pray” method when performing intercourse. JAMBLEE
The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada (www.sogc.org) offers a very positive perspective on the birth-control pill, but if you’re looking for a natural alternative, check out the Justisse method of fertility awareness (www.justisse.ca). Amy Sedgwick is an occupational therapist who also studies holistic reproduction healthcare. She is qualified to teach the Justisse method and does so at her store, Red Tent Sisters (810 Danforth, www.redtentsisters.com).
Red Tent Sisters joins the community of indie sex shops in Toronto with a small twist: baby clothes and birthing accessories on one side, dildos on the other, and the combination doesn’t seem incongruous at all. (This new attitude certainly bodes well for my strip-club soup-kitchen idea!)
Sedgwick offers a different perspective on synthetic forms of birth control. She worries about things like the low-level depression many women suffer from while they’re on the pill and her clinical experience shows many women have a hard time coming back to ovulation. “The complex physiological effect of the pill is not comparable to any natural state we’re in because our whole endocrine system works together,” she says. “Add to that a synthetic hormone and it’s impossible to know long-term side effects.”
Justisse demands you monitor signs of fertility on a daily basis. “It’s not the rhythm method,” Sedgwick is quick to point out, “which is about looking at past cycles and predicting based on that. Justisse is about observing basal body temperature, cervical mucous and cervical changes. It doesn’t have to be all three. You can certainly use this method just charting cervical mucous but looking at all three helps us have greater information.” In plain English, by studying the unmistakable changes in your vaginal discharge, you know exactly when you are fertile.
Why have you never heard more about this method? “The approach of body observation is taught around the world,” says Sedgwick, who has been using Justisse personally for two and a half years, “but it’s often taught with a religious approach because it’s the only method condoned by the Catholic Church as an acceptable form of contraception.”
Sedgwick makes some fascinating points about the cervix and how increased estrogen will lift it like a bull’s eye when a woman is fertile and how, when in this state, her cervical mucous becomes more alkaline and actually develops channels so the sperm know where to go. “A lot of women come to this because they’re looking for a natural contraceptive,” she says, “but they quickly find it is a touchstone for their overall health.”
EMAIL SASHA AT SASHA@EYEWEEKLY.COM OR SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO SASHA C/O EYE WEEKLY, 625 CHURCH ST, 6TH FL, TORONTO, M4Y 2G1.