Daily horoscopes each weekday at www.eyeweekly.com/horoscope!
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Thinking of dipping a toe into the housing market? Learn as much as you can. Mortgages and taxes and home inspections; flooring and roofing and parking; schools and shopping and transit. Not considering buying a house? Even better! Arm yourself with info now, while there’s time.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You may be able to answer the phone, type an email and stir the pasta, but what are you really absorbing? Someone needs your attention today. Like, all of it. So turn off the stove, let the phone ring and pull up a chair.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Did you seriously just take on another project? It’s hard to believe there’s a recession on with all the work that’s being thrown your way. But this recession is for real, so make sure you’re not being undersold. The less time you have, the more valuable it becomes.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
On this day in 1968, Pierre Trudeau was elected prime minister of Canada for the first time. Let the cult of personality that was Trudeaumania be your inspiration. Self-expression will be your leg-up, too. People are drawn to your natural charms, so give them something to rally behind.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
You deserve a break, Leo. But keep in mind what the 19th-century French author Jules Renard said: “Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.” The prospect of lagging behind should be enough to kick start your next endeavour.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22)
“Where does one go from a world of insanity?” asked the great poet T.S. Eliot, “Somewhere on the other side of despair.” Get out of your head, Virgo, and seek out some like-minded company. A sense of community and belonging is vital to keeping you this side of despair.
Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22)
It’s gonna be one of those days where your best efforts and intentions are thwarted. There’s only so much time, and trying to get it all done is going to mean some half-assed work will slide through. Try not to let it affect your sense of worth because most people wouldn’t even try.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
You have a heavy heart and a timid soul right now, Scorpio. Listen to “Amazing Grace” and accept that our emotions exist on a spiritual plane. “T’was grace that taught my heart to fear. / And grace, my fears relieved.” Then go out and find your own grace.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
OMG, are you still smoking? Aren’t you sick of hearing that? That’s just one way to chip away at your quality of life, though. If you don’t quit smoking, at least start building a reliable routine. Already quit? Good. Now replace every lazy, sloppy habit with its productive counterpart.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Hey you! Capricorn. It’s like the Kings of Leon song: “You, your sex is on fire / Consumed with what’s to transpire.” Make a date, clear your schedule for tonight and prepare to be transcended.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 19)
Ever watch young children learning to peddle a tricycle? They have to push twice as hard. Once they get some momentum going they are pretty good at continuing, though. You’re that child today, Aquarius. Let someone give you a big push and you’ll pick up skills on the fly.
Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Your love life’s going up in smoke like Lady Gaga’s tits at the MuchMusic Video Awards. It’ll sting for a while, but take advantage of the anything-goes, post-trauma stage to sow whatever wild oats you have left. Maybe go more Gaga and lose the pants?