I am currently unemployed and would like to find a job in the sex/fetish industry. Not as a performer but as an administrative assistant or secretary. I have tried looking for sex toy manufacturers, websites and all I get is porn. Can you help? I enjoy this lifestyle, and would like to work behind the scenes in some way. DB
I think a good way to proceed would be to visit the websites of any one of the left-leaning sex shops in Canada, as they are the most apt to carry Canadian-made products. Have a look at www.comeasyouare.com, www.goodforher.com, www.joytoyz.com, www.redtentsisters.com, www.venusenvy.ca and www.womynsware.com and begin by perusing their product sections. Jot down companies that are local to you and start sending out email inquiries about job opportunities.
Perhaps you’d even be interested in working for one of the shops themselves, but just remember what Gill from Come As Your Are once said here: counting sex toys is pretty much the same as counting beans and when the server goes down in the office, it doesn’t make it any less stressful just because there’s porn on it.
You must also consider what merging your agreeable hobby with tedious labour will result in. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that nothing trounces intrigue quite like having to spend an afternoon watching female-focused masturbation videos or rushing into the shower with a volcanic vagina after sampling an exceptionally flavoured lubricant.
Behind the scenes does have its benefits, though, and I’ll take DB’s letter as an opportunity to tell you all why. I am sent a slew of emails each month from PR people announcing the latest item to poke around in one’s secret places and, of course, most of these products and the appended self-serving statistics about pleasure and empowerment are just embarrassing money-making schemes. However, every once in a while, something comes along that lives up to all the sex-positive sloganeering.
About a month ago, I opened up an email from a new company called Vergenza (www.inspiredbyvergenza.com) to discover that, holy shit, they’re making the most beautiful dildos I’ve seen in all the years I’ve been writing a sex column. Granted, anything that looks like it was pulled from the set of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis is enough to send me into raptures, but, on top of that, these babies are made of heavy, aircraft-quality spun aluminum so they’re superb quality, too.
“Fine,” I thought, “let’s see this thing up close and personal.” I ordered myself a review copy and, in the meantime, had a hilarious email exchange with CEO Jessica Resler because my sample was being held up at the border and we all know what that means: customs office pre-Christmas dildo party!
Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll say it again, this toy is fucking stunning. And how does it play? Wow. One end is grooved exquisitely down the shaft, while the other (really the hilt of the dildo but totally insertable as well) is smooth and has circular ridging on the underside of the cross-guard — amazing for ass play. Aluminum heats up quickly and this particular incarnation is a flawless specimen of functional art deco that looks and feels amazing in the lavish art nouveau folds of the vulva. If you have a babe who enjoys a good stiff rogering and is keen for early century industry–inspired ornaments, have you got the holiday gift for him or her.
Cherry blast
I am sorry that you wrote so flippantly to the woman who is so desperate to seem like a “virgin” on her wedding night that she is willing to undergo both surgery and a second presumably bloody and painful defloration (“The $4,000 stitch-up,” Love Bites, Nov. 13). Out of kindness, you might have mentioned to this woman that there are other explanations for a torn hymen besides sexual intercourse. Some women are born without them. Some women discover that theirs have naturally been stretched or torn through strenuous activity, sports or ballet. Some women are raped — but as that’s not a good enough excuse for some patriarchal cultures, let that one go.
Many women with no “sexual past” at all have been shamed and even killed because they did not bleed on their wedding nights. Wouldn’t it have been kinder to help kill the “hymen equals virginity” myth than to advertise the services of a $4,000 surgeon complicit in one of the more disgusting patriarchal values in the world? DOROTHY CUMMINGS, M.DIV.
Ah shit, Dorothy, you’re right. I mean, I guess I could argue that I’m here to answer people’s questions without judgment or inserting my own agenda, but we all know judgment and agenda are served liberally here at Love Bites (as evidenced by my remarks about expunging one’s sexual history). I should have made at least some of the points you’ve raised but I was too busy being cynical and silly to actually say anything explicitly critical about the practice. I was a total knob not to bring up some of the issues above. Thanks for doing so.
A Wicked spill
My wife and I are interested in attending a swing club. We have a few questions we’d like answered before we proceed.
1. Are these clubs truly legal or are we looking at some grey area that means a bust could be imminent? We both have fairly conservative jobs and something like this would really jeopardize them.
2. My wife, without exaggeration, ejaculates like a fountain. We were wondering if it would be polite to bring our own towels or does the club supply such things for patrons? S&Y
On-premise clubs (meaning where sex is permitted) are legal in Canada as long as a certain protocol is observed. You can see the ruling, which was handed down in December 2005, here: http://scc.lexum.umontreal.ca/en/2005/2005scc80/2005scc80.html. Give it a read; it’s pretty interesting for a legal document.
At Wicked (www.wickedclub.com) the club provides towels as well as showers and lockers, though apparently the towels are rather small, mostly something to put under your bum, stripper-style, when you’re chillin’. I would suggest bringing additional towels or perhaps investing in a Luv Linen (www.luvlinen.com), which you can get in leopard print if you’re looking for something a little more provocative.