If there is a higher power, he/she/it is clearly peripherally involved in the music industry, and was less than impressed by the mettle-testing marathon that resulted from scheduling this year’s MuchMusic Video Awardstravaganza (June 15) right after NXNE. Either that, or the God of Rock has a sick sense of humour and was stoked about witnessing the spectacle of celebrities and their handlers madly fleeing from a torrential red-carpet downpour.
Those at home may not have appreciated the chaos, seeing as the MMVAs were on enough of a time delay that the red carpet pre-show still seemed to be taking place under pleasant enough conditions (even in the midst of buckets of rain that erupted around 8:15ish). But soon after The Office star Rainn Wilson dubbed Devon Soltendieck “cute as a button” (in response, the cherubic VJ nervously reasserted his heterosexuality by squeaking, “Thanks, I’ll tell my girlfriend”), the heavens, they did open, causing all attendees to disregard their place in the pop-cult pantheon as they ran for cover.
It was a shit-storm, to be sure: umbrellas trampled underfoot, event staff raced for towels to dry off the talent, and poor famous folk like Wilson, Dave Foley and the cast of Degrassi: The Next Generation (minus Shenae Grimes, who’s graduated to neo-90210-land) were forced to mingle with hacks and plebes in a holding area. “Are we gonna do it up like usual?” Shane Kippel (a.k.a. Spinner, Degrassi’s dyslexic meathead with ball cancer) asked castmate Adamo Ruggiero (a.k.a. gay Marco). “What?” Ruggiero replied. “You mean, like get totally wasted? Of course.”
In the midst of all that confusion, who had time to pay attention to, y’know, the actual awards at the awards show? Apparently not Wintersleep’s impossibly sweet Loel Campbell, who, when I found him chatting with Hidden Camera and local indie producer Mike Olsen, had no idea what prize his band had scored (though he did know they’d won something). Happily, EMI’s Sid McCain cleared up the confusion by explaining that they’d received VideoFACT’s Best Independent Video award, “and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer band.” It sounds like a cliché, but in this case, I totes agree.
Compared to the Hilary Duffs and Paris Hiltons of years gone by, this version of the MMVAs felt weirdly low on the quota of Celebrities Anyone Actually Cares About. Upstairs in ETalk’s satellite interview station (oh-so-subtly situated in the middle of the party), Guy Smiley — I mean, Ben Mulroney — flashed toothy grins at a generic-looking blond. After asking around, my colleagues and I figured out it was Whitney from The Hills. Bo-ring. I know she has a spinoff in the works, but couldn’t they have convinced Audrina to show? (Even Lo would’ve done in a pinch.)
Maybe it was just logistical nightmares caused by the inclement weather, but something felt off about the entire event compared to past MMVAs. I’d even go so far as to suggest that there was a blended-family vibe in the slightly uncomfortable marriage between Citytv’s “hip and streetwise” vibe and CTV’s grimace-inducing efforts to channel glamour and prestige. Even demographically, something felt askew.
After enduring the tweenage shrieks that met even the video-feed acceptance speeches from Avril Lavigne (winner of the People’s Choice Favourite Canadian Artist award) and Fall Out Boy (winners of the People’s Choice Favourite International Video award), the crowd response to night-closers New Kids On The Block came off as — dare I say it? — somewhat hollow. Clad in what looked like bedsheets, the one-time pin-ups busted out a greatest hits medley that didn’t register with quite the impact one might’ve expected, probably because the kids who’ve anointed Simple Plan the People’s Choice Favourite Canadian Group for the last five years running weren’t born in time to hang tough the first time around (and don’t really care to now).