As a pill hobbyist, I’ve learned that the most important thing about
recreational pharmaceutical consumption is restraint. The anti-anxieties and analgesics
that are very often taken, uh, therapeutically are engineered and
prescribed for genuine physical and emotional problems, and using them — from
legitimate or black market access to diazepam, lorazepam
and the rest — can too-quickly develop into addiction. But I've got fun with pharmaceuticals down to a science.
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So much about a cultivated identity is just spin on where we come from,
whatever the “where” means: a hometown, a country, a faith, a family, a
circle of friends. Truth becomes subjective (or just vanishes, in serious Don Draper situations) when personal history is up for grabs, as it is for people
who build lives away from family strictures. Or, just the cool stuff
can be included. ...more
Every year, sane, smart people declare that they’ll change a bunch of
shit about themselves and their lives, very often the same bunch of
shit as the year before, and expect that the promises and the act of
making them means something different this time, every time. It won’t. It can’t. I’m sorry, muffin, but it isn’t going to happen like that. Making big life changes is nearly impossible — and if it does happen, it probably won't be in January.
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My No. 1 worst quality is social
unreliability. I don’t, usually, go to the party. I cancel plans more often
than is appropriate. I probably won’t go to your show, and I definitely don’t
care about your boyfriend’s opening. Outside of non-negotiable obligations,
which can include justified emotional blackmail and a first-string birthday, I
only end up at parties when the stars and circumstances align. ...more
It’s unparalleled, the feeling of domestic satisfaction I get
transforming a squashed-up mountain of clothes-garbage into the
wearable contents of my wardrobe. I mean, my chore load is abbreviated
to begin with, since my apartment is about the size of my mom’s SUV,
but of all the wiping and scrubbing and reordering that I do in my
home, laundry is the best. It’s tactile, physical, pioneer work:
lifting, spraying, hauling, stuffing, pouring, folding. My enthusiasm
for doing my laundry is matched, though, by my suspicion of the
laundromat, which is quietly, sneakily offensive. ...more
When you write about your life, you’re going to hear about it. Standing outside a bar with a group of people, I start to introduce
myself to someone. He interrupts me and says “I know who you are;
you’re famous.” He doesn’t mean that I’m famous-famous; what he means
is that he recognizes me from my column, and that in the same
situation, so would his friends.
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