Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 19)
It’s finally time for the reckoning, Aquarius. Though your victims, er, companions, in this matter may still be gun-shy, you’ll be able to speak clearly and freely this week about all matters that have been plaguing you for months. Sadly those matters have to do with fairly unimportant matters like whether your ex-girlfriend owes you $12.

Famous Canadians born this week:
Louis St. Laurent (former prime minister, Feb. 1)
Don Cherry (hockey commentator, Feb. 5, pictured)

 

Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Snowmelt brings liberation, Pisces — and I don’t mean the temporary clearing of weather this week. I mean that calcium chloride stuff that’s seeping into our streets and shoes and freeing your mind through slow chemical poisoning. Run with it, timid little mind-expanded one.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Impetuous Aries has been aiming his love-arrows incorrectly lately. I mean, being gregarious is one thing, but your flirtation with the skate-sharpening guy just looks really pathetic. Try warding off the winter blahs in more traditional ways, like getting really, really drunk on cheap whiskey.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Decisiveness sneaks in under the bar at the end of January, Taurus, leading you into a month usually fraught with chill and doubt with a renewed sense of confidence and momentum. Since you’ve been kind of depressed for a while, none of your friends will point out that being decisive about TiVo programming is not actually a very big step.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Soft sweet Gemini’s metrosexual side creeps up this week. (Or, rather, it peeks through just enough, like a silk tie underneath your merino wool sweater hinting at something not quite so chilly and harsh.) Forgiveness to others for the past is a possibility in this state of mind, but then who would you blame for your own personal failings?

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Someone handed you a reprieve, Cancer — not one you deserved terribly much, but one you’re going to milk the shit out of, because you get away with whatever you can these days. It’s possible that trying to extend your special privileges to free Brazilian wax jobs is pushing your luck, however.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
Leo, you are moving in on your target like a feisty and determined crosshairs. Though Mercury’s backpedalling deviousness will try to slow you down, there’s nothing a 13-hour road trip and a lot of discount amphetamine tablets won’t cure in terms of getting you to your goal that much faster.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
There’s a podium and a laser pointer just ready and waiting for you to grace their presence, Virgo — you’re the centre of attention this week. Too bad it’s at a convention for surgical-instrument sanitizing agent manufacturers. Too, too bad.

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
Life for Libra is moving in pleasing cycles this winter: disappointment, hope, disappointment again, hope again. Really you should feel lucky that you get to feel that new rush of hope so very many times. Most people only feel it the one time and then totally wise up.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
You thrive on Mercury retrograde, Scorpio, just like you thrive on poring over your sent-mail folder, reliving the last six years of traumatic love affairs and revisiting affectionate email signatures that will never be typed again. It’s a little bit self-indulgent and soul-eroding, but hey. So is your art.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
Remember how everyone said your wager on the Super Bowl was a bad idea? And how you laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and made fun of them for liking the Argonauts? Yeah. You’re going to lose a lot of money this weekend, Sagittarius. But at least you’ll have had the pleasure of being really cocky about it beforehand so your friends can truly relish your loss.
 
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Fickle you. Having finally come around to a decision on how to spend all your money, you have a blush of whimsy and can’t help but offer it all to the first pretty face you see. Unfortunately this pretty face is an uncertified veterinarian who will offer to neuter your new cat in the basement of his pet store any night after eight.

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