Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 19)
Whether it’s that $400 you handed over in the alley or the accidental detour you took to Oshawa, your judgment is confusing others this week — but strangely enough you may actually know what you’re doing. Be grateful that at least your eccentricity prevents people from annoying you with constant requests for advice.

Famous Canadians born this week:
Meg Tilly (Fame actress, Feb. 14)
Loreena McKennitt (musician, Feb. 17)
Buffy Saint-Marie (musician/visual artist, Feb. 20, pictured)

 

Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Pisces needs a nap, as the energies required to traverse the Earth gently and humbly are more draining than others may think. Though February chill is your specialty, you are remarkably unfunny and unable to comfort those around you this week. Let’s hope you are at a resort in Cuba where this is of little consequence to anyone but your disappointed spouse.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Those you rely on the most for stability and reason are bringing you down this week, Aries. Whether it’s their newfound Ayurvedic diet or their belief that a 35-year-old man should be wearing furry boots, it’s like all your talismans of sanity have evaporated. At least your friends aren’t arsonists!

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Just because everything is coming up crocuses doesn’t mean you won’t be thwarted, Taurus. As usual, the main thwarter is yourself. Have you considered getting the fuck out of your own way? Because you could totally be happy if you weren’t pretending to be terrified of that.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Gemini is freaking out a little. Possibly this is owing to serial monogamy, workaholism and a house full of cats. Try to rein in your obsessive need to fill everything in your life to completion (except your prescriptions) and see if that helps. A little. For a day.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Though you often see your share of seasonal depression and retail therapy going hand in hand, and though the stars would like to see your moodiness assuaged as frequently and thoroughly as possible, it is not clear whether you really needed to order a Bundt-cake keeper in order to improve your quality of life.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
Leo, your instincts with people are to be charitable and quick to trust. They are no different this week when you sign 24 copies of something that will totally screw over you and all your business partners.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
Driven and myopic Virgo is first out of the gate this week. It’s too bad the gate is for a convention on the wargame miniatures that already completely dominate your squalid bachelor apartment.

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
The stars suggest Libra spend Valentine’s Day attending a hockey game with someone that you find completely asexual. That companion may have to be the team mascot. Try to stay out of trouble, OK?

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
Dramatic Scorpio is ready to make subtle changes this week. Actually the changes start off as epiphanies and grand plans, but you’re a little lazy and flaky, so they become subtle changes. You’re kind of a self-solving problem, really. It’s all part of the plan.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
Sagittarius needs to start playing things closer to the vest right now or the month of February is going to feel even longer than usual. If you truly can’t keep your emotions in check, you could try journalling. Or fan fiction.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
After all your upheaval lately, Capricorn, it’s hard for you to embrace the gentle pace of winter. Since you can’t make yourself happy or sane anytime soon, try to work on the stuff that you only want to do when you’re full of self-loathing. Later you’ll be so excited you don’t have to re-caulk your shower while you’re actually in a good mood.

Email us at: LETTERS@EYEWEEKLY.COM or send your questions to EYEWEEKLY.COM
625 Church St, 6th Floor, Toronto M4Y 2G1