Seth Rogen’s guided tour through his addled adolescence continues with Drillbit Taylor, a throwaway Apatow and co. joint (co-written by Rogen) that’s essentially a junior Superbad sans sex; instead, its high school-age protagonists — bespectacled beanpole Wade (Nate Hartley) and hefty wisenheimer Troy (Troy Gentile) cope with the horrors of bullying. (We know Troy is the Rogen manqué because he gets all the best lines; “that fat kid makes me laugh,” observes another character, in case we weren’t sure of what Rogen is getting at in his latest stab at self-projection).

Following several beat-downs at the hands of the resident campus sociopath (Elephant killer Alex Frost), Wade and Troy enlist the help of the eponymous Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), who claims to be a bodyguard to the stars. But he’s actually a borderline hobo interested in stealing his new clients’ stuff to finance a trip to Canada, noting that the government will pay for newcomers to settle land in the far North — the best joke in a movie short on good ones.

Wilson coasts through the film on his usual friendly-hipster autopilot, which is too bad, because Hartley and Gentile have a nice, affable chemistry (I preferred them both to Jonah Hill’s live-action Cartman act in Superbad). Hartley does particularly well, eschewing geek clichés and managing to generate some real feeling in the inevitable scene where Wade chews Drillbit out for being a liar and subpar bodyguard — leading to the equally inevitable slapstick climax where our no-account hero redeems himself.

Leaving aside its total predictability, questionable violence-as-solution message and standard-issue soft-pedal misogyny (cue Leslie Mann as an unhinged English teacher dying to jump Drillbit’s raggedy ass from the moment they lock eyes), Drillbit Taylor is above all lazy. The odd nod to continuity merely serves to exacerbate the film’s complete disregard for plausibility (Drillbit pretends to be a supply teacher and takes charge of several classes; what happened to the actual faculty?) and embarrassingly choppy construction. I’ll offer mild props for the Adam Baldwin cameo, which serves as a reminder that Drillbit Taylor’s basic premise could, in fact, be brought off with wit and delicacy: rent My Bodyguard and see for yourself.



 

 

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