Let the trendy-somethings have their west west west hangouts —?you don’t need to suffer a barrage of elbows on the streetcar just to knock back a few cold ones in the sun. Pound for pound, the old Queen West has just as many attractions as its Parkdalian neighbour, if you know where to look.

OLD STANDBYS What on this strip isn’t an old standby? For starters, the number one patio in the city, with a sunstroke-ridden bullet, is The Black Bull (298 Queen W., 416-593-2766). City hall be damned, the corner of Queen and Soho is the real town square. From urban sophisticates stocking up on Euro design magazines at Pages to suburbanites and tourists experiencing the Much environment in the flesh, all can be viewed at your leisure while scarfing down beer and bar food at a reckless pace.

Then there are the more compact patios at the Horseshoe Tavern (370 Queen W., 416-598-4226), 60 years young and arguably the city’s most beloved live music venue, where the Labatt 50 flows like water and everyone knows your name, only you can’t hear them. For outdoor action on a more upscale but no less venerable or charming tip, try The Rivoli (334 Queen W., 416-596-1908). The Riv scores points for hosting both music and comedy, as well as reliably good food (try the pot stickers) and on the second floor, pool tables — plus a sheltered patio, something of a rarity on this stretch.

Some call The Rex Hotel (194 Queen W., 416-598-2475) a bar where they play jazz, which is like calling Disney World an amusement park. The Rex is jazz heaven, boasting top-notch talent, jam sessions on Tuesdays, Mill Street beer on tap and a fine side patio, not to mention staff who go above and beyond — during a Randy Brecker/Pat Labarbera gig last winter, they delivered free coffee and munchies to the shivering crowds lined up for the second set. Classy. A similarly friendly neighbourhood vibe happens at the Cameron House (408 Queen W., 416-703-0811), where live folk and country acts perfume the air with rustic musk, though that could just be the aging furniture.

The place where Alanis Morrisette once shook off her pop-star past with the launch of Jagged Little Pill, the Velvet Underground (510 Queen W., 416-504-6688) serves up ’80s goth, retro and alternative.

In the former home of The Bamboo, you’ll find Ultra Supper Club (314 Queen W., 416-263-0330), which has a swanky rooftop patio that seats 50 people for supper and holds more afterwards.

Approaching the park, Squirly’s (807 Queen W., 416-703-0574) maybe single-handedly sums up the neighbourhood’s personality, featuring slick ’50s-style leopard-print bar stools, a back patio framed by a garage door and glam rock on the stereo, not to mention a traffic light in the window. Green means go.

Three pubs we would be thrilled to call our local: Epicure Café (502 Queen W., 416-504-8942), whose gorgeous second-floor patio and excellent service overwhelm any lingering whiff of averageness; 751 (751 Queen W.) which by day offers casual ambience and affordable food and drink, and by night turns into the non-stop dance party once provided by the late, lamented Queenshead; and the Done Right Inn (861 Queen W.) which feels like the living room from the house you shared in university, if your living room had a Spy Vs. Spy mural on the wall, Wellington and Saint Andre beers on tap, a pinball machine and a charming back deck.

NEW KID ON THE BLOCK If you haven’t read all about club kings Charles Khabouth and The Liberty Group’s latest venture, Tattoo Rock Parlour (567 Queen W., 416-703-5488), you probably can’t read. Behind the avalanche of hype is a high-glamour dance club for rockers, the kind of place Dave Navarro actually would be caught dead in. Or playing dead, at least. This is Sunset Strip cool, for those who’d rather get a personal trainer recommendation from the guy with huge pecs (and a tattoo inked at this very bar) than arm-wrestle him, and considering how packed it’s been, it’s a niche that needed filling.

On a less glam but no less fun tip, The Hideout (484 Queen W., 647-438-7664) has no shortage of rocker patrons, whether they’re singing along to one of the cover bands or lining up for the patio that fills up so much at night, it sometimes has a bouncer or two all to itself.

BEST BET: GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT
In-the-know rocker chicks head directly to Rok Boutique (200 Bathurst, 647-428-7273), where you’ll find hot pink walls, black chandeliers, a stripper pole and a busy back patio.   

BEST QUEEN WEST TEAM SPIRIT Venturing to Queen and Bathurst brings you to the fire-ravaged strip where Suspect Video and others once stood. Naturally our local cow fornication enthusiasts led the post-fire fundraising charge: the metal- and hard rock–heads across the street at the Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen W., 416-504-4239) threw a major bash for the victims featuring Billy Talent, reminding us yet again that despite — or maybe because of — all the ’tude, there’s nowhere else that we’d rather do shots and wild out. The post-Jäger recovery process happens next door at Shanghai Cowgirl (538 Queen W., 416-203-6623) where the grilled cheeses and sweet potato fries are said to have magical hangover-trouncing properties. Ordering another pitcher works pretty good as well.

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