Cityscope
Horoscope - Jun 12 - 18
BY Emma Riederer June 11, 2008 16:06
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Mercury retrograde is trickiest for Gemini, so oft-misunderstood anyway in the chaos of your wardrobe and charmingly persnickety tastes. Ride out the last week of confusion and mixed messages in the most tried-and-true fashion you know: by blowing off all your friends in real life and stalking them on social-networking sites to corroborate your suspicions that they are all against you.
Famous Canadians born this week:
Scott Thompson (comedian, June 12), Sam Sniderman (Sam the Record Man, June 15), Ernie Eves (former premier, June 17), Kurt Browning (figure skater, June 18)
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Be led not into temptation this week, Cancer, no matter how lonely and summer-sad you’re feeling. Sleeping with your ex from back in Kitchener is really, really not going to make you feel stronger and more skilled at adult relationships, beach volleyball or anything else.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
A life dedicated to faking it till you make it falls into crumbling pieces this week as Leo’s sham of an existence is exposed by not only by his co-workers, but also CP24 and his mom.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
A blip on your otherwise happy career trajectory totally throws you off this week, Virgo, diverting dozens of hours that would have been spent productively into obsession and deep-thought-preoccupied pen-twirling. As it turns out, your career change to professional pen-twirler is going to be very fruitful.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
You’re slipping, Libra — are the arbiters of taste and cool around to catch your missteps, however? You may have a June reprieve, as your indecision on how to present yourself to the world this week has worn out the attention span of anyone who was actually looking.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
Scorpio needed a fresh start, and one comes riding in this week in the form of an offer you can’t refuse from law enforcement officials. See this as the catalyst you need to be the person you’ve always really wanted to be.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
A situation will arise this weekend when you’d rather be relaxing — relaxing your mediation, dispute-soothing and fire-putting-out muscles specifically. Alas, with your closest loved ones at each other’s throats you will have little recourse but to step in, solve everybody else’s problems and then go back to living your closeted life of secrets.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Mercury continues to bog down technology and, seemingly, reason this week when you respond strongly to something you completely misunderstood. Luckily this will force to the foreground major issues between you and your veterinarian.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 19)
You’re your own worst influence sometimes, Aquarius. So when you suggest you take off work early and have that outside afternoon beer, don’t forget that the only person you’ll have to blame for those unmet deadlines and poor nights of sleep are you — well, you and all of those who continually betray you.
Pisces (Feb 20-March 20)
Pisces swims in a tiny little fishbowl of his own creation sometimes, but this week you are free to get riled up at all those closest to you for imprisoning your feelings and your happiness for far too long. Unfortunately your version of being riled up is barely perceptible to others and will have no impact whatsoever on your treatment.
Aries (MARCH 21-April 19)
Aries’ frustration levels run at peak capacity this week, though you should full well expect this kind of disorganization and unfairness in your daily dealings by now. Bearing this in mind, try not to throw a complete fucking temper tantrum in the middle of Pilates class, OK?
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Whoa — Taurus is full of surprises this week, particularly the kind where you buried something terribly important in the distant past and it has come back to haunt you in a sort of DNA-testing, lien-on-your-property sort of way. With any luck, all that money you’ve been skimming at work will come in handy in solving this problem.
625 Church St, 6th Floor, Toronto M4Y 2G1