Do you know of any clubs or bars in the Toronto area that cater to the CFNM scene? For those who don’t know, CFNM stands for Clothed Female Naked Male, which is a fetish where women are empowered and men are objectified by being totally nude and exposed in the presence of fully clothed women.

There used to be a nude bar in Toronto where nudity was mandatory for men and optional for women, so this often resulted in a CFNM scenario. And I have been to a couple of private CFNM parties over the years, where the men were all completely naked, and the women remained clothed and were allowed to ogle, examine and fondle our privates to their (and our) hearts’ content. I don’t know why, but I found this kink highly appealing. There was something about being treated like an object that had me the most turned on I have ever been.

Most clubs I have checked out in T.O. seem to be oriented toward humiliation, bondage and S/M, none of which interests me. I’m just looking for a place where a guy can consort with highly visual women who have a healthy curiosity about the male anatomy. I’m not unattractive, but I’m certainly not stripper material, so that avenue is not an option. MUST BE SEEN TO BE RELIEVED

I expected at least half a dozen niche-y sex clubs to pop up with some success and failure given the Supreme Court ruling that they’re now legit, but it’s been almost three years and still only a few have hung up a shingle and made a go. Because of this, I’m going to have to steer you towards Goodhandy’s (again!) at 120 Church, second floor, where they appreciate that, in order for an erotic club to work, you have to do one of a couple of things:

1. Cater to one single-minded demographic, which in the case of most swingers clubs generally means heterosexual couples looking to connect with other heterosexual couples and/or partake in heterosexist homosexuality (girl on girl). In the case of, say, male bathhouses, there are many men seeking a variety of indulgences, but they are all male.

2. Promote specific nights attracting specific sexual subcultures, all the while welcoming anyone else who may be interested in respectfully mingling with these subcultures. This is the mandate at Goodhandy’s and while you will not find your special interest expressly catered to, you will find it in some effect on Tuesday night at I Love Sex Parties. The monthly Northbound party also includes a few nude men wandering around waiting to be admired or played with. You can find details on both these events at www.goodhandys.com.

And if you haven’t yet, do have a look at www.cfnm.net. Yes, you have to pay a membership but the written teasers beckoning you in are clever and apparently even spellchecked, a huge turn-on for me and, I’ll assume, given your well-composed letter and unusually witty nom de plume, for you, too.

Stripped-down census
A few months ago, a UK university claimed that 8 per cent of students were sex workers. Has there ever been a serious attempt to determine the number of sex workers, students or otherwise, in a Canadian city? Surveying them on level of education and employment circumstances would provide a more accurate picture than the usual media stereotypes. S.H.

Only 8 per cent? They mustn’t have polled the women’s studies department. Kara Gillies of Maggie’s: “To my knowledge, no accurate data exists. Cities that license individual workers in specific sectors would be able to provide some numbers, but that data would fail to capture workers who are unlicensed, which in many cities would be the majority. There might be some data from the last census, but those numbers would be based on self-reporting and, given stigma and criminalization, most workers are unlikely to disclose.”

Love Bits
I can’t be the only one who peruses craigslist on a weekly basis, poring over gawky attempts at romance. I need to share a favourite posting of late:

“You are a girl that I didn’t get to speak to very much but you seemed quite distraught. You were laying down in the middle of the road, crying, hoping to get run over by a car. I was one of the two guys that stopped, picked you up, and helped you off of the road.... Anyway, just wondering what it was that had you so down? Surely, life can’t be all that bad. If you need to talk about anything, I’m all ears (or eyes).”




I appreciate that suicide is not funny. But come on, who tries to off themselves by lying in the middle of College Street? Everyone knows the most effective way to commit suicide on College is to bicycle down the strip when the clubs have let out and the street becomes an obstacle course of girls shrieking into their Blackberrys and boys lunging into traffic and howling at vehicles like frightened dogs. And is it just me, or is this fellow actually trying to romance a girl who he picked up, not on a busy street, but literally off of it? I know an epic connection when I see one budding. The words “Sid! What about the farewell drugs?” are already ringing in my ears.

• Several weeks back, I covered the Justisse Fertility Awareness method and, afterwards, received an email from Lyba Spring at Toronto Public Health. Lyba mused a bit about walking the fine line between being a women’s health advocate and a Toronto Public Health employee and ended with this: “I wanted to point out that your writer is using withdrawal and praying. The latter will not help, but the information you gave about cervical mucus (spelled this way when it’s a noun) was helpful. If he fails to withdraw at her most fertile time, she should run howling to a clinic (or her local pharmacy) for Plan B.” Thanks for the foreplay-through-grammar lesson, Lyba. I hope my vibrator is charged. 

• And, finally, I know many of you get a big kick out of the illustrations by Team Macho in this column each week. Please join me Sept. 25, 7-10pm, at Magic Pony (694 Queen W.) for the opening of Kitschy, Gay and Over in a Second, their solo exhibition. For details go to www.magic-pony.com.

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