Lil Wayne blogging for ESPN about sports? Not since Elisha Cuthbert landed an online column for NHL.com back in ’05 has such a celebrity condescended to mingle with wretched journos. But since this writer lacks the sports chops to evaluate Weezy’s first column, I consulted two serious sports fans: Andrew Braithwaite a.k.a. The Sportstrotter, The Walrus magazine’s sports blogger; and Jordan Timm, EYE WEEKLY contributor and Golden State Warriors fan-club president.

So, Lil Wayne: fan or fraud?

Sportstrotter leans towards the latter. “Wayne would make one heck of a sideline reporter. He analyzes [Chargers running back] LaDainian Tomlinson’s toe injury by revealing that he has talked to ‘many people’ who have had a similar injury. Great reporting, Wayne. Pretty soon Joe Namath is going to try to make out with you.”

Timm refuses to hater-up entirely. “If Lil Wayne has minutes in the day where he’s not fucked out of his gourd on sizzurp or channelling Sun Ra to string together some coherent thoughts on the matter, more power to him.”

However, Timm does question Wayne’s commitment to America’s pastime. “In ESPN’s At-Bat Music package, Wayne admits that he has never been to a big-league baseball game. Never. He knows the league well enough to big-up David Price from the Tampa Bay Rays; and yet, he has never attended a fucking ballgame?!? No cred.”

And Sportstrotter addresses Wayne’s critical fixations:

“Wayne, tell me more about your fantasy team! And your kids — tell me about your kids. I like nothing more than to hear scintillating stories about other people’s kids.”

Timm explains, “Wayne is going to do about one and a half more of these blog ‘entries,’ if that, before he gets bored. He probably won’t even do it long enough to jump on the Hornets bandwagon this season. Which is a shame, because their new uniforms are tight.”

Email us at: LETTERS@EYEWEEKLY.COM or send your questions to EYEWEEKLY.COM
625 Church St, 6th Floor, Toronto M4Y 2G1