Over the course of the summer I found myself very much in debt due to extensive travelling. Since I’m a student, I don’t work very many hours, and I’m trying to find some ways to make some good money — and fast — to pay off the debt. A friend of mine suggested this: www.sellyoursextape.com. I am actually totally up for it, but one thing bothers me: a future employer who does a background check on me will most likely find traces leading to this website, since the cheques will be made out in my name, and I don’t want to have a failed career because of this. Is there any way to get a non-traceable bank account with a fake name, even though the site asks for proper identification (which, too, can easily be forged), or any way simply to avoid this coming up on a background check? ALEX

As my friend Bruce LaBruce once confided with what I would describe as world-weary pride, “Once you have sex on film, you become a social pariah.” I have been involved in explicit cinema as a writer and actor but have always chosen employment where this experience works to my advantage, my motto being, “Who wants a fucking job where a job fucking isn’t an asset?”

My tax accountant also makes a good point: “Porn is legal, fraud is not.” If you are concerned about background checks, “It is more likely that potential employers would take exception to fraudulent cashing of cheques, fake ID possession and subterfuge in general.”

Regardless, “Anti-money-laundering rules mean it’s impossible for an individual to open an anonymous bank account in Canada,” says a friend in the investment industry.  “That’s why mobsters, fraudsters and other high rollers open accounts in Switzerland, the Cayman Islands and the Isle of Mann. Even these places will co-operate a little when foreign regulators come sniffing around. They also typically require large deposits before a ‘discreet’ account can be opened.” (Meaning you’d have to do about 100 videos before going this route.)

If you incorporate a company to hold the bank account, the bank will still record your information because you are a shareholder. “Using an unincorporated company name is possible,” says Investment, “but the bank will still take her personal info and she has to register the company name with the provincial government.” This I can attest to, having registered my own business. Believe me, the puerile thrill of seeing the name “Operation Snatch” on a debit card and cheques overrides any concern I may have had about respectability.

“Perhaps a crafty investigator and/or a court order can reveal payment records of Sellyoursextape Inc. or show her personal tax records showing receipt of such payments,” Investment speculates, “but I’m not even sure that this info would be available in a routine police or CSIS search if she got a government job. I think she should be more concerned about a future interviewer recognizing her — like, ‘Hey, aren’t you Slinky McBuffbottom?’ — than a typical HR search. But then it would reveal as much about the gotcha-er as the gotcha-ee, no? Having said all that, it’s funny how such information would come to light if she were running for office or became a CEO.”

How about processing the cheque through Money Mart? “Sure,” Investment says, “Slinky endorses the $1,000 Sellyoursextape cheque to Money Mart and gives Money Mart a post-dated cheque for $1,000 payable to Money Mart drawn on her bank account; Money Mart gives Slinky $650 cash.” Ouch, and there is still a chance that your association could be revealed if Money Mart’s books become public, like in a court proceeding, but, of course, www.sellyoursextape.com’s cheques come from the corporation that owns the service, Daring Press, LLC. An HR person would have to cross-reference porn business brand names and the corporations or partnerships that own them. Bottom line? Being recognized by a manager/co-worker/interviewer is far more likely.

While you’re thinking it over, Alex, I’d like to recommend the website in question to readers and reprimand in advance any employer who judges a person’s professional character for making an honest buck showcasing real and healthy sexual intimacy. This is some of the sweetest, nastiest, most heartwarming porn I have ever seen. Amy, getting all naked, wrapping your legs around Eric and farting all over him is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in an adult video. Eric, apologizing to your mom before you get down for posterity? Hilar! You guys need your own television show, you are so effing cute.

More than a woman for me
I am a “straight” woman who, for?some time, has been thinking about a liaison with a woman, although I love?men. However, lately I have been thinking of a transsexual or shemale, as I? have fantasies of having a woman with a “dick.” ?I have no experience whatsoever with the alternative lifestyle and need? you to answer some questions for me. Do shemales/transsexuals have sexual? relations with women? If so, how can I contact one and are there any? signs or information in advertisements as to which ones will? LW

Most of the transwomen I’ve met who do sex work identify as straight, meaning they choose to sleep with men recreationally as well as professionally. The term shemale is used in this context to denote a fetishized sexual persona and is not typically used by transgendered women outside of sex work.

The good news is that there are transwomen who identify as bi or lesbian. If you are looking at a non-professional exchange, you will often find transwomen at queer and female-focused events in and around Toronto, like Ladyfest and events put on by the Pussy Palace (www.pussypalacetoronto.com). Be warned that your raw curiosity might get you a few lectures about privilege and ghettoization. As professional exchanges go, it’s simple: call the women advertising and politely ask if they take female clients, keeping in mind they are not mentors and don’t appreciate having their time wasted on the telephone by tire-kickers.

LOVE BITS: Last week in suggesting some resources for Hopeful, I recommended Lenore Tiefer, whose name is in fact spelled Leonore. Though you will find some of her work under her incorrectly spelled name, the majority of it can be found when you spell it correctly. In fact, here is a good start: www.leonoretiefer.com.

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