THE ’RENTS:

A quick trip to the liq-bo makes the holidays easy, and way more fun. Watch Mom get giggly off Inniskillin Commemorative Edition Vidal Icewine ($59.85), while Dad mellows out with Taylor Fladgate’s 10 and 20 Yr. Old Port HF Luxury Gift Box ($65.40). LCBO, various locations, 416-365-5900, www.lcbo.com.



It’s time to help your parents decompress from all the shit you’ve given them over the years. Say thanks with the gift of side-by-side massages with the Pamper Each Other package. $330 at Shizen Spa, 8 Colborne & 200 Victoria, 800-958-3488. Gourmet platter included. www.shizen.ca.

Just like in a restaurant! Except trendier! These Salt & Pepper Grinders ($14.99 each) will even make scrambled eggs feel fancy. HomeSense, 195 Yonge, 416-941-9185, www.homesense.ca.


SOCIALITE SISTER:

Marathoning the Joey-Dawson-Jen-Pacey love quadrangle will act as the perfect excuse for some long-overdue girl bonding as she and her friends share a box of Godivas and tales of their own relationship drama. Dawson’s Creek: The Complete Series, $133.98 at Indigo, 220 Yonge, 416-591-3622; Dark Chocolate fall gift box, $41.50 at Godiva Boutique, 131 Bloor W., 416-214-1931.


She deserves regalia so why not take a hint from the queen of Constance? She’ll make others swoon wearing this classic chain that Taylor Momsen wore on Gossip Girl last month. xoxo. Cobra Lariat necklace, $159.50 at www.Jennybird.myshopify.com.


She may not be walking the red carpet but she deserves to be the It girl of every party. All eyes will be on her sparkly lashes, luscious lips and glowing skin. Shimmer gloss, $16; Define & Sparkle eyeliner and mascara, $18; Merry cranberry lip balm, $8; Nutmeg and Vanilla Body lotion, $16; all at Body Shop, Eaton Centre, 220 Yonge, 416-977-7364. Quo Diamonds are Forever Blush and Eyeshadows, $20 at Shoppers Drug Mart, various locations, www.shoppersdrugmart.ca.



BROTHER’S BRATS:

Introduce the late Mordecai Richler’s ginger-haired hero to your sib’s kid: Jacob Two-Two is back for Generation Z (with the help of author Cary Fagan) and is on the move to Canada, braving the ocean waters on the SS Spring-a-Leak. Jacob Two-Two on the High Seas by Cary Fagan, $12.99 at Type Books, 394 Spadina Rd., 416-487-8973.


Teddy plushies are so passé. Look to Monster Factory: three Ryerson and OCAD alumni have created gangs of endearing monsters complete with persona cards. Meet Colin from the 8-Bits. He divides his time between playing videogames and fretting about his future. $40 at Propaganda, 686 Yonge, 416-961-0555, or browse designs and order online at www.monsterfactory.net.


Prep the little ankle-biters for Guitar Hero circa 2020, while also getting your brother back for all those years of abuse. With realistic sound and a rhythm tutor, they’ll be practicing day and night and you don’t have to hear it until Easter. Bontempi Drum Kit, $149.95 at The Toy Shop, 62 Cumberland,
416-961-4870.


PUNK COUSIN:

Metalheads and punks agree on exactly two things: clothes should be black, and AC/DC rules. If your cousin believes that “Moneytalks,” get the deluxe 3 CD, 2 DVD, 1 LP edition of AC/DC Backtracks, whose box is also a working guitar amp ($244.83 plus shipping). There’s also a 2 CD, 1 DVD edition for those of us who like our Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap ($38.99). www.acdcbacktracks.com.


Punks do so read — at least they used to. Grove Press’ 50th-anniversary, restored edition of lynchpin text Naked Lunch — William S. Burroughs’ surrealist ode to all things scrawled, scrawny and scurrilous — will learn the youngsters good. Plus it’s got edges and endsheets coloured in bad-ass black. $30.50 at This Ain’t the Rosedale Library, 86 Nassau,
www.thisaint.ca.


Gloriously wallpapered in vintage memorabilia, Hits & Misses is crammed with great punk, garage, metal and indie records and CDs you can’t get at the mall. They also have enough patches and t-shirts to make anyone the best-dressed fan in the pit. 860 Bloor W., 416-535-7817.


Genuine acts of rebellion are difficult to execute in our permissive, post-irony culture, so budding anarchists must resort to more subtle gestures — like cooking up a batch of Holy Toast!, thanks to this "miracle bread stamper," which allows you to eat organized religion for breakfast. Available from Blue Banana Market, 250 Augusta, 416-594-6600. www.bluebananamarket.com. 



TECH-NERD UNCLE:

Charging up your cellphone, camera or MP3 player doesn’t get any more convenient than with this palm-sized solar charger. Gadget geeks will hit the moon… er, sun. Kodak Solar Charger KS100-C+2, $44.95 ordered through www.bestbuy.ca or www.futureshop.ca.


Right-click your way into your uncle’s favourite list with Apple’s new wireless Multi-Touch technology mouse. Apple Magic Mouse, $69 at the Apple Store, Eaton Centre, 220 Yonge; Fairview, 1800 Sheppard E.; Sherway Gardens, 25 The West Mall; Yorkdale, 3401


Elevate your uncle from tech-nerd status to James Bond cool with a rearview mirror that doubles as a phone. Yada Bluetooth Rearview Mirror, $149.99 at Canadian Tire, various locations, 866-746-7287, www.canadiantire.ca.


RICH AUNT:

These glass straws (various sizes, $7.50-$10) will add a splash of classy kitsch to any catered dinner party. Plus they ensure that swine-fluey guests keep their germy lips off Aunt Priscilla’s crystal. Grassroots, 408 Bloor W., 416-944-1993.


The One Acre of Canadian Habitat gift package from the Nature Conservancy of Canada is like a spa day for the environment, plus your aunt gets a calendar and that warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing she owns another acre of land. Perfect for someone who has everything. $40, 416-932-3202, www.natureconservancy.ca.


Don’t you dare buy the family high roller a Dali poster. Impress your resident patron of the arts with something from Art Interiors’ 16th Annual Festival of Smalls, where you can snatch gift-sized artworks for $25-$250 (such as E. Lennye’s Shinny 20, $150, pictured). Art Interiors, 446 Spadina Rd., ste 203, 416-488-3157. www.artinteriors.ca.


BANDMATE:

We all know that New Year’s resolution to quit smoking won’t hold up, so keep their hands warm this winter. Smoking gloves. $32, online only at Urban Outfitters, www.urbanoutfitters.com.


Keep up their street cred with Vice’s guide to hipster history. Add brutally honest post-its, and let them think you’ve dished out loot by bundling the pair in a box promising fancy gadgets. May the disappointment begin. News, Nudity, and Nonsense: Irresponsible Writing for Awkward Youth: The Best of Vice Magazine Volume Two, 2003-2008, $19.50 at Type Books, 883 Queen W., 416-366-8973. Get the Hint Stickies, $9 at Urban Outfitters, 481 Queen W, 416-203-8633. Decoy box, $7.99 at The Onion, www.theonion.com.


A covert, yet just ironic enough holder for the roadies they’ll be sneaking swigs of during their party-hops. One for my homies flask, $20 at Urban Outfitters, 481 Queen W, 416-203-8633.


Remind them that Toronto exists north of Bloor, and take them back to our roots, packing the bag with a harmonica and boozing utensil à la CPR. Toronto maptote, $24; Harmonica necklace, $48; railway spike bottle opener, $30 at Drake General Store, 1144 Queen W, 416-531-5042 x: 101, www.thedrakehotel.ca/dgs.


MAN’S BEST FRIEND:

Give the dog some chill time amidst all the holiday chaos with these classical, high-frequency melodies. Music My Pet, $17.95 at My Pet Boutique, 94 Cumberland, ste 105, 416-368-6896.


Make sure Fluffy doesn’t feel left out come take-out Thursday. These all-natural fortune cookies include notes like, “Confucius say, dog who run behind car get exhausted.” Kung Fu Fido, $9.95 at My Pet Boutique, 94 Cumberland, ste 105, 416-368-6896.


Keep your puppy out of the kennel this holiday season with a comfy travel bed. One for Pets Roll Up Pet Bed, $49.99-$69.99 at Big Dog Bakery, 2014 Queen E, 416-693-3364, www.bigdogbakery.com. (They’ve also got some boxed treats in “Liver Delight” and “Peanut Butter Bliss” at $9 for her stocking.)


If your Fluffy wouldn’t be caught dead at an Ugly Sweater Party, keep her looking chic in this coral cashmere number. After all, shouldn’t her threads be just as luxurious as her locks? Rani Arabella Sweater, $145 at My Pet Boutique, 94 Cumberland, ste 105, 416-368-6896. Looking for a cheaper, DIY alterative? Read up and knit your pup a cable sweater or a balaclava for her winter walks. Pet Projects: The Animal Knits Bible, $19.72 at Anthropologie, 80 Yorkville,
416-964-9700.


TEAMMATE:

Alcohol doesn’t really warm you up so pair that lager with a toasty scarf. Perfect for rink-side post-game chatter. Comes with two glasses, two bottles of Moosehead and a Roots scarf. $27.95 at the LCBO, various locations, 416-365-5900, www.lcbo.com.


Forget Rosebud. Give your sports bud an adrenaline rush with this extreme pro sled, perfect for steep hills. Sno Rider Galactica Ice Breaker Snow Sled, $59.99 at Sport Chek, various locations, 877-977-2435.


It’s not Mount Kilimanjaro but Joe Rockhead’s 22,000 square feet of artificial rock-climbing surface will still give your teammate memories they can hang on to. Indoor rock- climbing 10-visit pass, $145 at Joe Rockhead’s Indoor Rock Climbing, 29 Fraser, 416-538-7670.

Give a budding PeeWee a chance at Gilmore fame with a Leafs training session. Who knows, maybe they’ll thank you one day with season tickets. Toronto Maple Leafs Clinic Series one-day training session, $205 at www.leafsclinics.com, 416-815-5600 x: 2203.


BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND:

With its absence of perfumes and handsome chalkboard packaging, there’s no mistaking: Bread&Butter is for dudes. The local skin care start-up is so keen to help with macho cosmetic woes that they’ve set up an online order system at www.breadandbutterskincare.com — no cosmetic-counter lurking necessary. The stuff works like a charm. Face moisturizer takes the edge off the daily exfoliant; the lip balm is unwaxy; and the body moisturizer combats the cold’s ravages with a whiff of August pines so nice you’ll have to hide it from your girlfriend. Strong enough for a woman but made for a man. Face Cleaner, Face Moisturizer, Body Moisturizer and Lip Balm; $84.99 for a year’s subscription incl. one winter and one summer kit.


Got a girlfriend who’s not into the fussy stuff? Buy her a bottle of Christopher Brosius’ handmade “I Hate Perfume.” Each lush, romantic spray is comprised of unique, olfactory ingredients like Russian leather, chanterelle mushrooms and (we swear) woolen mittens. “I Hate Perfume” Perfume, $80-$110 (depending on ingredients) for a 100ml bottle at Ewanika, 1083 Bathurst. www.ewanika.ca.


Doin’ it becomes less counter-productive with these suction-handle Sex In The Shower tools. With secure rests for you and your partner’s feet and arms, instantly gain that leverage you need to make getting all wet... well, you can fill in the rest. Sex In The Shower Dual Locking Suction Handle, $22.99; Single Locking Suction Foot Rest, $21.99 at Seduction, 577 Yonge, 416-966-6969.


Let’s face it — you’re the one who’s going to suffer from your boyfriend’s fiery razor burn. Encourage him to save face with Crabtree & Evelyn’s practical shaving travel kit that exemplifies good grooming down to its sleek silver razor brush. Edwin Jagger Italian Leather Travel Kit, $155 online only at Crabtree & Evelyn, www.crabtree-evelyn.com.


It’s cool to hold hands in public if you’ve got the right accessories. Make with the PDAs by giving your girlfriend a pair of these sleek, stylish gloves. Julie Driving Gloves, $79 at Club Monaco, 157 Bloor W. www.clubmonaco.com.

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