Leafs stretches: only slightly less boring than their actual games

Bright and early on a Saturday morning, the worst team in the NHL opened its doors to about 10,000 of its most hopeful and dedicated fans. Everyone was welcome, young and old (but mostly young), scuttling all the loose talk we’ve heard about apathy creeping into Leafs Nation.

The losses keep coming but the fan base endures, and not even a measly three wins in their first 20 games can stop the NHL’s most valuable franchise from filling the entire lower bowl of their arena, just so the fans can watch them practice.

I know what you’re thinking: this guy hauled ass from North Toronto to Front Street at 9am on a Saturday to watch the worst team in hockey sleep through a half-hearted game day workout? This is supposed to be a treat? It might be a curious decision, but I was intrigued.

Many things prevent me from seeing the Leafs in person on a regular basis: lack of disposable income, scarcity of tickets (most of which end up in the hands of corporate execs and their kids), and my principles, which I like to think prevent me from paying obscene amounts of money for what I believe to be an inferior product.

Concerts are my only excuse to worship at the Air Canada Centre, and this was my first trip to the Hangar since last June, when I marveled at the return of Gwen Stefani and her boys.

Heavy sponsorship by grocers Metro made the day’s events possible, but my Golden Ticket came courtesy of Leafspace.com’s Monika, Leafs publicity maven and master of ceremonies.

She called the shots in what might have been the first event in ACC history with general-admission seating. As I settled into a Gold seat on the blue line, I couldn’t help but wonder what this real estate might cost me for a regular season loss to the Carolina Hurricanes — in the neighbourhood of $500 or $600?

The players weren’t due to hit the ice until 10:30am, and festivities kicked off with the Mascot Games, without question the greatest collection of mascots assembled since that Nuit Blanche exhibit a few years back at Lamport Stadium. All told, about 25 mascots from the NHL, minor league hockey, every Toronto sports team, and even the venerable Peter Puck took part in various challenges, everything from musical chairs, to tug of war, to a goal-line-to-goal-line shot competition. But the real fun started once the mascots strapped on their skates for a game of shinny that was nothing short of mesmerizing. See for yourself…



I then took a few minutes to consider my surroundings. This building has never hosted a championship team, but memories of the glory years are everywhere. Banners line the rafters, honouring Stanley Cup wins and Leaf legends, yet I couldn’t help but wince when I remembered the banners run out in 1967. The only thing more embarrassing is the lone Raptors banner from their one division-winning season in 2006-07.

With the crowd spent from cheering on Carlton the Bear in the mascot festivities, the Leafs’ game-day skate was practically an afterthought. I’m still puzzled as to why weak-link goaltenders Vesa Toskala and Jonas Gustavsson received the morning’s biggest ovations, but I hollered wildly for my favourite Leafs, namely Tomas Kaberle and Luke Schenn.

Dapper head coach Ron Wilson soon emerged on skates, barking out a few orders, but the drills were decidedly low energy, and far more impersonal than what the Montreal Canadiens do at their practices.



More than anything, I was struck by the speed of the players’ execution, which has to be the biggest difference between NHL vets and a bunch of joes on the shinny rink. If only the Leafs were as efficient 5 on 5 as they are with the neutral-zone breakout drill.

With all they’ve had to endure this season, it makes sense the boys were happy to see us. Witness the T-shirts and jerseys being hurled over the glass into the 15th row, and impromptu autograph signings at the entrance to the tunnel.

There’s no denying that our dedication is horribly misguided. At the quarter pole of the season, this bunch of guys may be on pace to set records for futility. But at the same time, they’re strangely lovable.

And if you caught the game on Saturday night, you know how this story ends. On the day they were greeted warmly by bleary-eyed parents and 5-year-olds who were barely paying attention, the Toronto Maple Leafs pulled off an inspirational shootout victory against Alex Ovechkin and the playoff-bound Washington Capitals.

I’d like to think Leafs Nation, the most resilient fans in the game, played a part in the win.


HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK
You have to feel for Henrik Andersen. He’s toiling away in the Swedish Elite League, and when he scored his highlight reel goal, he innocently tried to give it a little celebratory flair with an Ovechkin-style flying leap into the boards. How sad then that the plexiglass wall gave way, and Andersen flipped himself right off the rink. Terrible way for a little-known hockey player to get his first worldwide exposure.



While this clip is most definitely hilarious, Andersen has my sympathy, because at least his immature showboating happened after the play, unlike Lindsay Jacobellis’ disastrous method that cost her a gold medal in Torino, or Dre Bly, who was briefly America’s whipping boy when he got too cocky after making an interception.

The lesson, as always, if you want to be a hot dog, wait until you’ve got the game in the bag.

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